Remember when you got married? Everything was wonderful because you were in love and were loved. Life was great as you anticipated a lifetime of wedded bliss and a life full of love and happiness. Your wedding vows were so meaningful as you gazed into each others eyes knowing you would be together as long as you both shall live. You did not even imagine to be thinking how to avoid divorce.
What happened? Now one or both of you is contemplating or threatening divorce. Wedded life is not what you expected and your lover turned into a husband/wife. The love you once shared is never mentioned and certainly never felt as you drift farther and farther apart. You did not realize that being together for entire life could seem so long.
Unhappy marriages are not rare. Unhappiness sometimes begins on the honeymoon and sometimes years later. It can come suddenly or draw near you like old age. Many of us have stared in the mirror and wondered who that old person is. It's like that in wedding when you look at your spouse and wonder who that stranger is. Surely, that's not the person you married....
But it is and you can be in love and happily married all over again with a little mutual understanding. Avoiding divorce is possible. Do not even mention the D word until you have given it a sincere try to relight the spark that was once there. Stare closely and I am sure you can see a little flame now.
You have probably been told that to have a happy marriage you should communicate. So, begin with talking. Whatsoever has been at the root of your problems discuss them openly and honestly. What have you got to lose? Communicate and negotiate. A happy life is learning to compromise as it will not always go your way. Do not let the wind blow you away but bend a little.
Both of you bring to the talk table a list of things you would like to see the other do to save the marriage. Do not just be negative. List the things that irritate you but also list things that give you joy and make you smile. Take the list seriously and implement it today.
Do not let the list limit your actions. Create ways to make your partner feel special and loved again. Enlighten them in a short note that you love and appreciate them via email or a phone call. They could be busy so do not linger. Say sweet nothings and leave them wanting more. Marriage should be fun and filled with humor. You are more likely to live together if you laugh together.
Get closer. Touch each other. When you pass, kiss their neck or ear or squeeze their hand. Do things together instead of watching TV. Special interests together provide an opportunity to do more talking, bonding and remembering why you loved them in the first place. The bottom line here is to be friends and lovers. When esteem returns so does love and when you love someone you may avoid divorce.
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